I don’t celebrate Christmas, which of course makes me less of an American in the eyes of Sarah Palin and Bill O’Reilly and all the other notables on the Fox News/Tea Party side of the great American political divide.
I was shocked, really truly deeply , to find out a few years ago that there is a war going on, and that I and those like me are the aggressors against the poor, overwhelmed and terrified 90% of individuals in this country that identify as Christian. Apparently, my status as a non-Christian is an affront to the real Americans, of whom I am certainly not. I am sorry.
My sins are vast and many, and as the first step in my atonement (and I hope use of the word “atonement” doesn’t too clearly mark me as being Jewish) I am listing a few for which I ask forgiveness:
- When I was in third grade, our December art class activity was creating Christmas tree ornaments. I threw mine out on the way home. I wasn’t the best artist, but more to the point we didn’t have a Christmas tree and I couldn’t see any use for them. I realize, now, that in doing this I was assaulting the decent God-fearing, Christmas celebrating kids in my class and in this nation.
- When out shopping for gifts, I’ve been known to say a cheery “Happy Holidays” to people. It was intended to be friendly, but Bill O’Reilly has opened my eyes to how painful this is to people that celebrate Christmas. As I find it hard to tell who is Christian and who isn’t just by looking at them, from now on I will shun eye contact to avoid insulting anyone by stating the wrong greeting.
- Some of my favorite movies play this time of year. While Christmas-themed, I never thought that “Christmas Story”, “White Christmas”, or even “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” were religious. I was wrong. These are deeply spiritual movies that touch on timeless Christian themes such as tree decorating and air-rifles. I will keep that in mind while watching. Shown here is a scene illustrating how God rewards the holy.
I offer up this public apology to make up for my years of atrocities. If you want to find me, I’ll be baking butter cookies and watching “A Christmas Story”. And, to all my blogging friends, a very Merry Christmas!