- Some people you thought were friends aren’t.
My husband wasn’t 2 weeks gone before I saw Facebook posts from supposed friends dissing him. His ex-wife started it (no surprise there) but the participation of people who had been long-time friends of his, and who had shown up at his memorial to tell me how sorry they were, was.
- Contacting people after a death really does matter.
I’m keeping every sympathy card received, and am aware of who hasn’t sent a card or called or even emailed.
- The simplest, most routine things are the hardest.
Waking up alone; going grocery shopping; coming home from work. It’s the small, everyday things that really bring home the fact he’s gone.
- “Don’t sweat the small stuff” is true.
I wish now I hadn’t let myself get so upset over small things. I’d give anything to find leftovers on plates sitting in the fridge, or a toilet seat left up. I cringe when I hear people complaining about their spouses.
- The simple grace and kindness that so many people possess.
I’ve been touched by the small but meaningful gestures so many people have made. A neighbor left a bag of snack foods with a note saying she knew I wouldn’t want to eat, and maybe these would be tempting. A friend who has taken to calling and asking me out for lunch on a weekend day. The work buddy who’s always ready to get coffee when I am.
- Clean out clutter now – before it’s too late.
I’m faced with a tremendous mess to clean up from my “not quite a hoarder but you can see it from here” husband. I know he didn’t want to do this to me, but he did and it’s not right.
- Emotional pain is physical.
I ache all over and some mornings when I wake up it’s just hard to get out of bed.
- It’s possible to live on nothing but coffee and pizza – but I don’t recommend it.
Cooking was a big part of our lives together. I just can’t do it now. He didn’t eat cheese, so pizza is one of the few things that doesn’t remind me of him. It’s all I can eat at home.
9. You can cry and drive at the same time.
Really big sunglasses help.
- Grief makes you stupid.
I’m confused all the time. I keep forgetting things, and my ability to manage multiple assignments at work is suffering. I zone out during meeting and don’t have a clue what’s being discussed. I’m hoping no one figures out that I’m just faking it at work, completely unaware and uninterested in what’s going on.