Zero to Hero Day 1: A re-introduction of myself and my blog

The morning of September 1, 2012, I woke up a widow for the very first time. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. During the entire month of August, I’d rushed out every morning, either to the hospital or to work. This Saturday morning I sat down, coffee in hand, realizing I had nowhere to go.

I’d started a journal as a way to make sense of what had seemed to be a fun-house ride where nothing made sense. It became a safe place for me to vent my anger, fear, and frustration over the unraveling of our life together. My most recent entry had been made the previous night, when I documented the details of my husband’s final day on this earth. I wanted to capture every detail; I could no longer help him in any way other than to ensure that I would never forget.

I read that entire journal, and decided that I needed to keep writing. The difference was that I wanted a chance to find other people that were going through a similar situation. Googling blogs led me to the WordPress site, and I signed up for a blog. The initial name, ‘Diary of a Sad Widow’ was kind of a play on the ‘Diary of a Mad Housewife’ movie, and an expression of how I felt.

Rereading it now, those first few posts are tentative and shaky. That entire first week was surreal, with his funeral almost exactly 1 week to the hour after his death, and his memorial service 2 days after the funeral. During those first 2 months, some of what I posted was pulled from the journal I’d kept during that final month, and most was just my reactions to what I was experiencing. My first surprise came when I saw that there were people “liking” what I’d written. Then I received a few comments. Many were from people who were also in mourning, and I started reading other blogs. It was strangely comforting to share these stories of loss with people in the same situation.

I started feeling more comfortable writing and sharing. In November of 2012 I had a post featured on the Freshly Pressed site and was blown away by the number of views. At that moment, blogging changed for me. It was still a way of working out my grief, but it was also something more; I was trying to be the best writer I could and to figure out what my life could be. I slowly started writing about things other than grief, but my working through loss remained the core theme of my blog. I was lucky enough to be freshly pressed a second time, in August of 2013.

I found other blogs I enjoyed reading, and began to think of their authors modern pen pals. Some were working their way through grief as I was; others were not. I found that WordPress was the best therapy for me, more helpful than the grief counselor I saw twice, or the online grieving support group.

It is now 16 months later. At the one-year mark I changed the name of my blog to ‘And Now for Something Completely Different’ as a signal that, while still mourning my loss, my life and blog were about more than just that one event. My life is moving forward; I’m not sure to what, but it is moving. I’m still reading other blogs, and I’m still writing.


5 thoughts on “Zero to Hero Day 1: A re-introduction of myself and my blog

  1. I agree that blogging can be potent and super effective therapy.
    Journaling in the public eye, as you’ve been doing, takes courage. It also indicates to me that you are on a path to strength and new purpose; you are not a giver-upper. You are a survivor.
    May you feel the powerful wind of the blogging community under your wings as you continue your journey.

  2. I found your blog by running a search for blogs about coping with grief, in the hope of finding one that might help my sister cope with the death of her son. Your writing resonates, and I’m glad that you’re continuing with it.

  3. Despite being a great support group, WP is a wonderful place to find friendships. This marvelous thing called blogging by WP has me communicating with photographers, writers, bikers, hikers, widows, single parents, cooks, bakers, musicians, comedians, and crafters. And of course all of those roles identify only one facet of each individual. What a marvelous gift!
    So you keep writing, and we’ll be here to read as you move on through life.
    Welcome to 2014!

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