About

On August 31, 2012 I ended one life and began another. My husband died that day. I started this blog shortly after that event as a way to cope with what seemed incomprehensible.

Time has passed; I still mourn my husband, and miss him daily, but I can write about other things besides just grief. I’m moving forward, trying to retain my past while being open to a future that is beyond my ability to predict.

I have no idea what’s next, but I do know that it will be something completely different.

22 thoughts on “About

  1. Thank you for writing what the rest of us feel daily. I have been widowed for 10 years. I don’t think it’s that it gets easier necessarily. I think we just get used to it being hard.

  2. I lost my husband in May 2013. I came across your blog and felt the tears rising as I read your entries. I know exactly how you feel, as would anyone who would be on this site. The hardest days are the weekends; I look forward to them because I don’t want to be at work, and then I find myself alone and lost. I need the structure of the workday. I have a friends who never hesitates to tell me about the trips she is taking, the plays and movies she is seeing, the dinners out, the friends get-togethers; all with her husband of course. I can’t listen anymore. I should say, “Why would I want to hear that? Do you have any clue?”. But instead I just avoid. I’m getting good at that.

  3. I, too, lost my husband of 30 years in March 2012. We lived in Wisconsin. After a year of working full time and taking care of our farm alone, I knew things had to change. I retired and sold the property and moved to Tennessee, to an adult resort community. New place – new faces. I miss him terribly, but the memories are not as sharp in new surroundings. I am lonley, but my resort community has so many activities. I would like to find a gentleman to have dinner with or see a show. This has not happened yet. I keep telling myself: all things in good time. I met my husband while I was rotertilling my garden. You never know who is around the corner! Thanks for sharing the bumpy path that many of us are walking down, too.

  4. I lost my husband unexpectedly on New Year’s Eve 2013. I’m 45 and have been widowed 6 months now. I really need some direction. I’ve made some mistakes and don’t want to make any more. I’ve pushed everyone away, not on purpose, but because I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone. Now I’m lonely and don’t know how to reconnect with my family and friends. Just so lost. We had a plan and now I’m living day to day with no plan.

    1. Those first few months are awful, and even worse when it’s unexpected. My heart goes out to you; it is truly a tough, tough time. For me, writing this blog was the way that I could work through everything going on in my head; it was where I could safely express my anger, grief and confusion. I really feel for you, Rosanna. Call your family and friends; I bet they’re just waiting for you to reconnect with them. The people that care about you will still be there.

  5. I lost my husband June 28, 2012. I am still quite lost and just ran across this. I’m looking forward to reading about your experiences. Thank you for sharing this.

  6. I don’t know what to say…sorry to hear about your loss…time is the best healer that’s all I can say…if you don’t mind I suggest you to change your status from ‘being widowed’ to being ‘single once again’…it sounds better and might have some positive effect on your healing.The reason I stopped by your blog is I never heard of such a sad user name .It got listed in the suggestion list and I clicked it.

    1. I started the blog very soon after – and am in the process of coming up with a new name. It’s been a little over a year now and yes, you are correct in that time does make things easier. All of us have issues and problems and things in our lives that are difficult, and I think what matters is the way in which we respond and what we take from those events.

  7. Thank you for sharing. You write beautifully and share enough to enable us to know a bit about you and your life that we feel a connection. So glad I am to have found you. Hugs.

  8. I lost him on the 8th of August 2011. I miss him very much every day and yet things get easy. I promise you. I have pan of sadness, sometimes when I don’t expect it, or late at night I’ll wake up thinking he’s here with me but it gets easy. I laugh again and I have found some kind of happiness in the little things.
    My thought are with you
    x

  9. Even though this my site is public, my family and few friends know I write it. I have allowed search engines and wordpress bloggers to read it, but haven’t shared with even my closest confidents. I don’t know you, but I am so proud of you. Having enough wits about you to put it all in writing. It took me 11 years to do that. These are deeply personal thoughts. Thoughts not everyone can understand. It is very similar to standing in a room full of people…naked. That takes some getting used to. No shame in that! I look forward to watching you go through this, one step at a time. I look forward to it because I know the pain that you feel and I know you can (and will) come out the other side!

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